


Women Are Dirty

by cold_flame



Series: Undeniable [16]
Category: Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood & Manga
Genre: Gen, This is a crack fic, and a parody of ooc Al, please don't take it seriously
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-05-19
Updated: 2012-05-19
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:42:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 758
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24793312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cold_flame/pseuds/cold_flame
Summary: Okay so lately, I've been reading some AlxOC fics, and let me just say, they are all ridiculous. They're way over the top and cheesy. So, I decided to poke fun at that pairing in this chapter. Nothing in this is exaggerated, although you might find a few smart-ass comments from the author while reading. This is seriously what the fics were like.
Relationships: Alphonse Elric & Edward Elric, Alphonse Elric/Original Character(s)
Series: Undeniable [16]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1792303
Kudos: 1





	Women Are Dirty

**Author's Note:**

> Okay so lately, I've been reading some AlxOC fics, and let me just say, they are all ridiculous. They're way over the top and cheesy. So, I decided to poke fun at that pairing in this chapter. Nothing in this is exaggerated, although you might find a few smart-ass comments from the author while reading. This is seriously what the fics were like.

Al stared into his closet for something nice to wear. He had gotten a date with a nice girl that he had met yesterday while out walking.

_Alphonse was on a walk. He noticed a young girl with curly brown hair struggling to carry all her stuff. Being the perfect gentleman that he is, he decided to help her._

" _Do you need some help with that, Miss?" he flashed her a charming smile. She met his eyes, and he could've sworn he saw sparks because, you know, she was absolutely gorgeous._ (Cue readers groaning from the cheesiness. The sad thing is, we're only 1 paragraph in the story, so we still have to bear with the rest of the 3,000 word chapter.) _She had the prettiest green eyes he'd ever seen. She stared at him for a second and he knew she felt the same way. Even though she was a total stranger, he could practically read her thoughts._ (Yes, because I know I could form that strong of a bond with a stranger within the 5 seconds I've known them. Totally natural.)

" _Yes. Thank you so much." She smiled. He thought he would melt when she smiled at him._ (Okay, I realize that Al is sensitive, but wow really? Bear with me, guys.) As _he helped her with her bags, they began to chat each other up. And he realized from only 5 minutes of talking to her that she was also smart, witty, and basically perfect._ (*cough* Mary Sue *cough*. Oooh sorry OC creator. I think I'm coming down with something.) _Now, he may not know much about girls, but he's observed a few things from the Colonel. He decided to lay on the charm and, oh so subtlely, ask her on a date. Of course, she accepted because that wasn't predictable._

So that's how he ended up here in his room trying to figure out what to wear. His brother had been against of him going out with some girl that he had just met.

" _I don't think you should go." He had said._

" _Why not? She's a nice girl, Brother." Al whined._

" _How do you know? You just met her. She could be some sexual predator or something. I don't want my baby brother to get exposed to that." He coddled his brother protectively._

" _I'm 16. I'm hardly your baby brother anymore." He rolled his eyes, pushing his overly dramatic brother off of him._

_Ed sighed. "Fine. Do what you want. But don't say I didn't warn you."_

He shook his head. His brother was just being overprotective. What could possibly happen? And besides, what did he know about girls? Nope, nothing could possibly go wrong.( _cue eye roll from the readers. Here comes the 'plot twist'. Yes, because I totally couldn't figure out that something was going to wrong.)_

* * *

Ed was reading in the living room when his brother came in the house, looking very forlorn. ( _Oh no. I didn't see that coming.)_

"Hey, Al." he said indifferently, not taking his eyes off the theory book he was reading. "How'd the date go?"

"Well, at first, it went great. But then towards the end, she started to make me feel uncomfortable. She encouraged me to do bad things, Brother!" ( _This part would probably take 2 paragraphs. I just summarized. Amazing how I managed to explain the whole story in only 2 sentences.)_

"Really?" he said disinterested. "That's nice."

"Brother, you weren't even listening!" he yelled outraged.

"I didn't expect you to go in a freaking monologue about it! Geez, you're worse than a girl." he said irritated.

"Why didn't you tell me that women could be so dirty?" Al moaned.

"I did. You were just so blinded by 'your love' that you didn't listen." He mocked.( _This is seriously the kind of excuse they'll try to pull. I'm not just making it up. Gag-worthy isn't it? Hey, atleast you didn't have to read the actual thing. You should be grateful I summarized it in 700 words for you.)_

"Well, that's it. Amestrian girls are hopeless. I'm living the rest of my life as a lonely hermit." Ed rolled his eyes at his brother's angsting, but then got an idea. ( _I love how they try to switch character roles. Don't you just love it when they're OOC? I know I do.)_

He stared at Al blankly, "So, you're done with Amestrian girls?" he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"Yes! Completely!" Al stated. Ed smirked.

"What about Xingese ones?" he asked wryly.

"Shut up, Ed."


End file.
